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for Alexander Harristhal

by Ryan Thoresen Carson

I remember

what Alex had to say about fractals


it’s reassuring,

that you don’t always notice them.


But seriously, they’re always there.


Which is my favorite thing about celebrities.


I can just think about what they are doing

at any given time—

   unlike friends who must be clutched

   and located, texted, are you ok?


  Yeah, it does feel like

   the sky is always falling,


   but it’s only raining

   all the fucking time.


But celebrities, I wonder what they’re doing,

they aren’t suffering,

well not in the way that to clean

another’s house is suffering.


I like to think that Madonna

is driving up a hilly carpet of evergreens.


Courtney Cox in an apple orchard with lenses

reflecting honey crisp, golden, delicious.


And me?

I’m wearing clear lenses of fractal


in admittedly sick deck shoes

on an admittedly sinking yacht


sequestered and sloppy

in my best stripes


I drink for sustenance.

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